I am at the point in my life where a job is not fulfilling, creating a business involves a ton of marketing, many hours spent working endlessly towards a perceived idea of success and to accumulate money. I sit in a small 10 X 10 room I call my office, this is where all the magic happens, creative workshops, mastermind thoughts, podcasts and meditations for others.
Yet, today and most days I crave for something more, something that involves deep experiences of growth and evolutionary downloads that will change the face of humanity. It is this yearning that keeps me alive.
Today, like most days are spent trying to talk myself into greatness. Hell, I have post it note after post it notes filled with inspiration, love quotes and motivation, all of which I would rather not read today, yet I read through them looking for the magic pill to take away these deep cravings for more. Today, it dawned on me what my real craving is….to create life with people who desire the same experiences that I do. To create life with deep emotions, deep expansion into the unknown and unseen. Deep conversations that leave me wondering about everything and fill me up at the same time.
I know on a conscious level that I deserve, desire and try to create this everyday….yet the yearning for more never ends. I constantly ask, Why? Why do I yearn for more? Why am I so inquisitive? Why can’t I just be happy? Yet, every cell in my body is screaming for something I just can’t fulfill. I long for such pure conscious love that I ache with the thought of what that would be like, the vision of it sets me on fire and scares the heck out of me at the same time.
Every thought that runs rampant in my mind says you have everything you need and more….yet I ask what about desire. Is it selfish to desire something different? Is it outside the experience of this lifetime to desire everything this world has to offer and more?
Daily I ask, What is it I desire? Who do I desire to be? I see so many people sharing their strategies of how to be successful, how to break the boundaries of their thoughts, their emotions, their beliefs…..I even teach others to do the same. Yet, today I am vulnerable to my own yearnings and desires.
My yearnings are so persistent and strong that sometimes I feel that my desire will swallow me up one day, never to be seen again within my own self. Today seems to be one of those days where the tears stream down my face with no option of stopping. No matter how I try to distract myself, I continue to feel the gentle tug of what else is possible to explore. I also know that these kinds of days generally mean there is a breakthrough of some kind about to happen, yet, these days are hard on my psyche, on my emotions and on my confidence.
I want to create a life of amazing experiences with others, I want to create partnerships with people where competition does not exist. I want to live everyday with so much expansion that when I lay my head down at night I am exhausted in all the accomplishments of the day. I want to have such deep conversations about everything that I run out of questions to ask.
What I yearn for has nothing to do with material objects, they have everything to do with relationships of love…. deep, deep love. I know at some level of this experience today I am tapping into a consciousness that exists within our human race and I know that some of you can relate and have similar yearnings. So, my quest continues, how can we create this amazing life we dream of?
As a wise old soul once told me, we are not islands, we create consciousness together. I am tired of the same old thing, I am tired of competition, I am tired of religion, politics, hate crimes, discrimination, material possession….the list goes on forever. I am tired!
Again, I ask. How can we create a life so full that we have no desires, no yearnings…. just bliss? The answer comes in a form of a vision, simple be a magnet and allow spirit to come to you. This way of being is in the current programming, yet I understand its function and dynamics. My new craving is to be this magnet, to stop thinking and working so hard that I literally stop the flow.
The new form of question is to “Show me” – show me how to be the magnet and to relax within the new way of being.
AUTHOR: Angela Blaha, Author, Mentor, Lover of Evolution.
Let’s begin by asking “What is intuition”? According to the online Cambridge dictionary, intuition is an ability to understand or know something without needing to think about it or use reason to discover it, or a feeling that shows this ability.
Intuition is our internal knowing, our internal wisdom. It is the bridge between our conscious and our unconscious and it is the bridge between our mind and our natural instincts of wisdom. You may find that you do not share the same wisdom as other, this is because it is found within you and is directed by your unique beingness. By allowing intuition and your internal wisdom to guide you, you harness the ability to tap into and embody the essence of your soul.
In attempting to understand intuition, it is equally important to understand how the mind works. The mind is based in past information, what we consider memory – past experiences that attach to emotions, belief patterns, thoughts, stories, etc.. These emotions, thoughts, beliefs and patterns stay in our minds experience through imprints until we need that information again. When we begin to feel stuck in life, it is because of this reason. We feel stuck because we are pulling from past experiences and past information. We get stuck in the story, we get stuck in the belief patterns. We feel hopeless, anxious and unclear of our purpose.
Living intuitively is living in present moment time, with each new experience you allow yourself to discover new emotions, new thoughts and new beliefs while simultaneously letting go of your previous patterns and expectations.
To use this concept in every-day life is to teach yourself to live in present moment time and to follow your inner knowing, inner guidance and inner wisdom to help you open up to new experiences.
Why? Because past information, past beliefs and past emotions do not always guide us in the direction we desire to explore in this present moment. To step further into allowing your intuition to guide you, ask yourself the following questions:
- What do I believe right now?
- Is this my truth?
- If I make this decision, is this what I want to create in my life right now?
- Is this who I am right now?
- If I make this choice how will I be different?
Ask questions that need answers in the present moment. This will help you retrain your mind to live in the present moment where decisions are made instead of relying on old information based on previous experiences.
Living intuitively is about being in your present experience and asking soul piercing questions that move you into creating new experiential moments in order to transform old patterns and paradigms. Living intuitively allows you to stand in your truth and power and it allows you to be confident in your wisdom and being in flow with who you are.
You can learn more about Intuition at a Soul Family Retreat. To find the nearest retreat to you click here!
Author: Angela Blaha, CEO – With over two decades of helping people make positive life changes, Angela is an Intuitive, transformational teacher, mentor, speaker and author. She is passionate about helping people overcome obstacles through their life journey.
Join our thriving community of like-hearted souls at: Blissful Living/Facebook
I assumed we had evolved beyond the ludicrous belief that we cannot connect with source, cannot feel, hear or see beyond the veil and into the perceived “woo woo” of spirit. But, I was wrong as my latest radio interview still held the energy of disbelief in the self and the power of the soul.
I teach about emotions, thought, beliefs and how they relate to intuition. How our thought forms and belief patterns attach to the fear of our emotions and hold us from mental, emotional and spiritual growth. In fact, I teach people to use Intuition as their thought form rather than the mind/ego because the mind is based in the past while intuition is based in present moment.
During my last radio interview I was explaining to a man how his belief would not allow him to connect to a past loved one because he would not be able to hear the message. He was skeptical and said he did not believe I could talk to someone he lost a long time ago. Everything I said he denied. He left the conversation still in disbelief, as my words were not powerful enough to break down the belief system. Yet it is not the connection to his deceased loved ones that were missing, rather it is his belief, which is attached to emotions of fear, guilt, forgiveness, and even love that holds back the connection.
Listen to the interview, YES, Meditation is a Blue-Collar Thing, too!, here.
It is not my or your ability to connect to past loved ones, aliens, ghosts, spirit or even God that is “woo woo”. Rather, it is our unspoken emotions, beliefs and mindless thoughts.
We are programmed to ignore, stuff and hold on tight to our rigid patterns, making them unseen and unspoken. This action creates unfounded and ludicrous beliefs, the direct definition of “woo”.
I believe in infinite possibilities, which allows me to expand the mind. I use intuition as my thought form, constantly trusting my connection with my own soul. In trusting and knowing myself from the inside out it is this evidence of wisdom, of knowing any truth which stops me from blindly following others with such “woo woo” belief systems.
I will trust my intuition, my connection to all that is, before I would trust any other unfounded fearfully based thought form. I trust my soul and all of our wisdom. I will not blindly follow any other belief just because they have been a cultural, familial or religious belief for eons.
Here are 3 question I ask myself to better know and understand my truth.
- Is this really my belief? Or does it belong to society? To my family? To religion?
- What emotions are attached to this belief and are they really my emotions? Do I really feel this way?
- What is my truth? If this isn’t my belief, what is?
And so it is.
As I was gently reminded of how I keep love and people at an arm length, I decided to dive deep into the subject. This is not the first time I have been told this and I am consciously aware of how reserved I am at times
I can create many excuses for being reserved like being hurt in past relationships; people just don’t understand me, etc. But when I look deep within me I recognize that it is the depth of my own love that stops me from allowing people in.
If I define it even further, it is the depth of my love that even frightens me at times and as I ask myself why would love frighten me, the answer is very clear. If I were to allow my pure conscious love to be exposed it would be very intimidating as I know I carry much light. I have also experienced my intimidation factor with people, they always have a glazed look in their eye. When I am fully exposed with my love it can be too much for people and they shy away and I see the looks on their faces as if to say, “who are you”?
So, for this reason, I shy away from exposing my love, the depth of pure conscious love within me is very vast, strong, powerful and can be overwhelming. When I first began to channel “The Mothers” I experienced the overwhelming sense of pure conscious love. Their love was so strong it overwhelmed every cell in my body and I wondered if this is how people experience my pure love? I also wondered why I resisted receiving such an amazing strength of love, after all, this was the goal, to be pure conscious love.
There is a portion of me who remembers and understands pure love and yearns for it daily. There is also a portion of me who is afraid to embody all of it and most importantly to expose it. Again, I could use all the excuses for this fear based perception like divine timing, something needs to be healed, etc., yet I am fully conscious of fear and how it keeps me separated from my wisdom and truth.
(If you like this, you may like the podcast episode, The Abundant Love Project: The Stones that Blossomed into Love)
When I dive even deeper into the subject I notice the body begins to soften, as if to say, finally I have exposed my truth and I can release this shield of protection. Well, at least one layer of the shield. Love seems to have so many layers…..as with every thought and emotion it can be changed to fit your desires. So, I ask myself what is my desire? Do I desire to stay shielded with my love and the reception of love so that I hold myself back from experiences I desire to have?
As I take a deep breath and release I begin to have an inner dialogue. The remembering thoughts of being hurt come through and the soul reminds the mind that that is only perception and perception can be changed. Logically I understand this, yet the mind does not want to let go as it is very difficult for me to experience hurt or the perception of hurt….then the soul says, do not allow yourself to see hurt as you have in the past. Rather see everything as an experience without right or wrong, love or fear, good or bad.
As I take another deep breath I settle into the knowingness of bringing the intenseness of pure Love to the earth. I recognize this as a purpose and I choose to fulfill my purposes!
I have to admit it has been a struggle for me to get back into any type of routine since my visit to Peru. Although it has been four weeks, I feel like it has been an eternity and wonder what I have been doing since then.
Upon my return, I vowed to carry the amazing high vibration of love, joy and bliss energy I experienced in Peru. I knew at some level of my existence this high vibration was possible, but I had not experienced until my trip.
A few days later I was talking with a client and I noticed I had willing gave my high vibrational love energy away. I thought to myself there it goes, I was confident I could regain the vibration at will.
Disappointingly, since that moment in time I have been basking in the 3-D energy of separation, I have been disconnected with the high vibration. I consider myself to be fairly conscious and I thought to myself, seriously, do I have to do this again? It has taken me a few weeks to sort out what has been happening, but here it is.
My thinking patterns had returned to third dimensional thinking which showed up as “lack of” thinking. I lacked the close connection with the people I so enjoyed in Peru. I found myself missing the energy, the people and the place, all of which kept me in third dimension. I found myself thinking, if only I could live in Peru where the energy of lay lines are so high you can actually see them with your third eye, then I would be happy. I found my emotions crawling into these thoughts and how my feelings took on the thinking. I found myself feeling exhausted and crying constantly, thinking I wasn’t enough to human kind. I had a lack of purpose and I found myself regurgitating the thoughts over and over.
I knew something was wrong and consciously dove back into the separation to understand why. In my last blog I talked about all the past lives where I lived in separation, trying to understand it’s every move. Here I go again, I heard from my soul.
What I learned is this: when I choose to move into separation of who I know I am, it is my thinking patterns that change. And even though I was in the midst of the energy, I knew something was not right, I felt trapped within my own psyche. I knew consciously, at some level, that I was going into the energy of lack, which is exactly what third dimensional/separation/unconscious energy is.
I also learned just how multi-dimensional we really are as human beings as we choose which energy to flow with and which energy is teaching us something. Looking back it was another beautiful experience and another gentle reminder from Peru.
When I move into third dimensional energy it is my thinking patterns that change, falling into the lack paradigm. When I choose to move out of that energy, again my thinking changes. I know I cannot trust my thoughts as they are always related to past memories or experiences and it is present moment time which creates our reality. I tried to move myself into present moment time knowing this would bring me out of the lessons or experience of separation from myself, but the energy would not have it. My experience had not been learned and my soul was not about to allow me to experience joy until I understood and found the wisdom. Even though I knew I was experiencing something, I choose not to look at what I was to experience, instead I choose to be miserable in my own thoughts and emotions.
I have been asking for full consciousness and what this experience taught me, which may be important to you is this: Pay attention to which dimension you are creating in. If you are in a lack paradigm ask yourself, what is this experience about? How can I move through this more rapidly and what do I need to understand, feel or bring remembrance to the surface to move forward? Learn about who you are at a level beyond your current wisdom, dive deep into the experience without judgment, lack of thinking or fear of the unknown.
Much new information has come from my diving deep, backing is all dimensions and moving further into who I am and what is to come. If you are experiencing pain and suffering, please reach out, you can find me at http://angelablaha.com.
When I dig even deeper, I notice a sort of diversion happening within me, almost like I want to back up and not move forward. I ask what else can money offer? I hear luxury, however, I do not see luxury, instead I see blank space. I wonder what it is that I need to release or expand into, to see luxury. I ask myself, what will it take to receive luxury – I hear a wide awakening!
I consider myself a fairly wide-open person! I ask, what is a wide awakening? I hear, a complete revamp of the system, a break down of beliefs. You have old thoughts and beliefs that you are not worthy of luxury. Now, this annoys me, yet I know it is true. I wanted to believe those old beliefs were released and taken care of years ago.
I ask, what do I need to do to release the remaining beliefs. I hear, go within! The usual comment!
So, I go within and I notice and see the old belief stemming from childhood where we were very poor and the belief said, “we were not worthy of luxury”.
I turn further inward and say I am not that young person anymore, so my belief should not remain in that state of being. I am very capable of manifesting everything and I am older now. If I want enough money to have a luxurious life, then I shall have it. I felt like I was demanding the belief to release me from its ugly claw.
The acknowledgment of knowing this belief was created when I was a little girl was enough to break down the belief. Sometimes we need a complete retraining of the mind, so I have created an affirmation to match the new belief and will state it until the mind does not know anything except the new belief.
Most lack beliefs were created when we were young and it is time release your lack beliefs to the time and space it occurred in. You are now in a different time and space and you should be creating new beliefs as you progress through time and space.
The further I dove into the belief the easier it was to dispel the belief and any power it held over me. I could understand that the lack of money/luxury was not my belief. It was a belief my parents had and I released that belief to that time and space, as I no longer have that belief. Beliefs are easy to change; you simply have to have the courage to dive into them and then to change them to match your current situation.