Recently a friend asked me how he could support me this lifetime?
This question took me by surprise as I have never had such a question posed to me. It took me several days and his constant inquiry for me to answer. I am a very independent person and I have a false belief that states I can do it all myself. I really had to think about this quest, how can someone support me, this was such a foreign concept to my mind that I spent three days angsting over all the possibilities.
It was a great question yet I had no answer!
I am used to walking alone in this life and all of a sudden someone wants to support me? What? What would this mean, would I have to give up something to allow someone’s support? My own continuous inquiry of this question was relentless and took my mind in so many different directions.
On the second day after breakfast, he again asked and said he needed an answer…I responded out of nowhere that I needed a teacher and a mentor. I wondered where this request came from, but it made perfect sense as I have been looking for a teacher and mentor who could love me for who I am yet expand me beyond all dimensions.
The remainder of the day I thought about what this could possibly mean….it has been a dream of mine to find a mentor who understands me, sees me and could help me break all illusions. I kept thinking that I had finally found someone who could fulfill this role…or did I? This kept roaming around in my mind and then I heard a bold voice say, why didn’t you just ask for a God, that is what you are really looking for.
What? Geeze…. where does this stuff come from, I wondered? A God, I asked? A vision flashed through my mind of a time when we were creator Gods right alongside of the one and only God. Then my ego came in and disrupted the beautiful sight and feeling of a love so pure and light that it brought tears to my eyes, and I heard, like anyone can fulfill that role!
The next morning I told my friend I really needed a God….his expression surprised me and he commented with, “finally!” We did not speak of it again.
Much to my surprise, this quest was not focused outside of myself. Rather, I spent the rest of the day daydreaming about what it would be like to be free from this shell of a human body as that is my representation of what being God means. No constraints of language, or energy form, or food, or water, or anything. Just pure freedom, capable of deep experiences of love and peace yet incapable of experiencing lack.
I know at a conscious level I deserve to be loved and I deserve to love …..all at the level of which I desire. Even though I live in a world of duality I should not have to experience the duality if I choose, after all this is humanities free will. If I choose not to experience duality and the illusion that I am separate from my Godself then I deserve a God. I laughed to myself as if that could even be a possibility in this so-called reality and wondered what I really meant by I deserve a God?
I wondered what life would be like if I experienced myself without holding anything back: freedom, deep love, peace, joy…….the emotions kept coming alongside the tears. There was a deep understanding in every single cell of my existence that the God I seek resides within me, because only I can fulfill such a wish.
My connection with my Godself is my one truth of all the worlds. I need my god self because I am the one true person who knows me, sees me and understands me. Only my connection with myself can fulfill why I need a God, because once I have that, I am connected with God, whole in God and one with God!
I am at the point in my life where a job is not fulfilling, creating a business involves a ton of marketing, many hours spent working endlessly towards a perceived idea of success and to accumulate money. I sit in a small 10 X 10 room I call my office, this is where all the magic happens, creative workshops, mastermind thoughts, podcasts and meditations for others.
Yet, today and most days I crave for something more, something that involves deep experiences of growth and evolutionary downloads that will change the face of humanity. It is this yearning that keeps me alive.
Today, like most days are spent trying to talk myself into greatness. Hell, I have post it note after post it notes filled with inspiration, love quotes and motivation, all of which I would rather not read today, yet I read through them looking for the magic pill to take away these deep cravings for more. Today, it dawned on me what my real craving is….to create life with people who desire the same experiences that I do. To create life with deep emotions, deep expansion into the unknown and unseen. Deep conversations that leave me wondering about everything and fill me up at the same time.
I know on a conscious level that I deserve, desire and try to create this everyday….yet the yearning for more never ends. I constantly ask, Why? Why do I yearn for more? Why am I so inquisitive? Why can’t I just be happy? Yet, every cell in my body is screaming for something I just can’t fulfill. I long for such pure conscious love that I ache with the thought of what that would be like, the vision of it sets me on fire and scares the heck out of me at the same time.
Every thought that runs rampant in my mind says you have everything you need and more….yet I ask what about desire. Is it selfish to desire something different? Is it outside the experience of this lifetime to desire everything this world has to offer and more?
Daily I ask, What is it I desire? Who do I desire to be? I see so many people sharing their strategies of how to be successful, how to break the boundaries of their thoughts, their emotions, their beliefs…..I even teach others to do the same. Yet, today I am vulnerable to my own yearnings and desires.
My yearnings are so persistent and strong that sometimes I feel that my desire will swallow me up one day, never to be seen again within my own self. Today seems to be one of those days where the tears stream down my face with no option of stopping. No matter how I try to distract myself, I continue to feel the gentle tug of what else is possible to explore. I also know that these kinds of days generally mean there is a breakthrough of some kind about to happen, yet, these days are hard on my psyche, on my emotions and on my confidence.
I want to create a life of amazing experiences with others, I want to create partnerships with people where competition does not exist. I want to live everyday with so much expansion that when I lay my head down at night I am exhausted in all the accomplishments of the day. I want to have such deep conversations about everything that I run out of questions to ask.
What I yearn for has nothing to do with material objects, they have everything to do with relationships of love…. deep, deep love. I know at some level of this experience today I am tapping into a consciousness that exists within our human race and I know that some of you can relate and have similar yearnings. So, my quest continues, how can we create this amazing life we dream of?
As a wise old soul once told me, we are not islands, we create consciousness together. I am tired of the same old thing, I am tired of competition, I am tired of religion, politics, hate crimes, discrimination, material possession….the list goes on forever. I am tired!
Again, I ask. How can we create a life so full that we have no desires, no yearnings…. just bliss? The answer comes in a form of a vision, simple be a magnet and allow spirit to come to you. This way of being is in the current programming, yet I understand its function and dynamics. My new craving is to be this magnet, to stop thinking and working so hard that I literally stop the flow.
The new form of question is to “Show me” – show me how to be the magnet and to relax within the new way of being.
AUTHOR: Angela Blaha, Author, Mentor, Lover of Evolution.
Let’s begin by asking “What is intuition”? According to the online Cambridge dictionary, intuition is an ability to understand or know something without needing to think about it or use reason to discover it, or a feeling that shows this ability.
Intuition is our internal knowing, our internal wisdom. It is the bridge between our conscious and our unconscious and it is the bridge between our mind and our natural instincts of wisdom. You may find that you do not share the same wisdom as other, this is because it is found within you and is directed by your unique beingness. By allowing intuition and your internal wisdom to guide you, you harness the ability to tap into and embody the essence of your soul.
In attempting to understand intuition, it is equally important to understand how the mind works. The mind is based in past information, what we consider memory – past experiences that attach to emotions, belief patterns, thoughts, stories, etc.. These emotions, thoughts, beliefs and patterns stay in our minds experience through imprints until we need that information again. When we begin to feel stuck in life, it is because of this reason. We feel stuck because we are pulling from past experiences and past information. We get stuck in the story, we get stuck in the belief patterns. We feel hopeless, anxious and unclear of our purpose.
Living intuitively is living in present moment time, with each new experience you allow yourself to discover new emotions, new thoughts and new beliefs while simultaneously letting go of your previous patterns and expectations.
To use this concept in every-day life is to teach yourself to live in present moment time and to follow your inner knowing, inner guidance and inner wisdom to help you open up to new experiences.
Why? Because past information, past beliefs and past emotions do not always guide us in the direction we desire to explore in this present moment. To step further into allowing your intuition to guide you, ask yourself the following questions:
- What do I believe right now?
- Is this my truth?
- If I make this decision, is this what I want to create in my life right now?
- Is this who I am right now?
- If I make this choice how will I be different?
Ask questions that need answers in the present moment. This will help you retrain your mind to live in the present moment where decisions are made instead of relying on old information based on previous experiences.
Living intuitively is about being in your present experience and asking soul piercing questions that move you into creating new experiential moments in order to transform old patterns and paradigms. Living intuitively allows you to stand in your truth and power and it allows you to be confident in your wisdom and being in flow with who you are.
You can learn more about Intuition at a Soul Family Retreat. To find the nearest retreat to you click here!
Author: Angela Blaha, CEO – With over two decades of helping people make positive life changes, Angela is an Intuitive, transformational teacher, mentor, speaker and author. She is passionate about helping people overcome obstacles through their life journey.
Join our thriving community of like-hearted souls at: Blissful Living/Facebook
I assumed we had evolved beyond the ludicrous belief that we cannot connect with source, cannot feel, hear or see beyond the veil and into the perceived “woo woo” of spirit. But, I was wrong as my latest radio interview still held the energy of disbelief in the self and the power of the soul.
I teach about emotions, thought, beliefs and how they relate to intuition. How our thought forms and belief patterns attach to the fear of our emotions and hold us from mental, emotional and spiritual growth. In fact, I teach people to use Intuition as their thought form rather than the mind/ego because the mind is based in the past while intuition is based in present moment.
During my last radio interview I was explaining to a man how his belief would not allow him to connect to a past loved one because he would not be able to hear the message. He was skeptical and said he did not believe I could talk to someone he lost a long time ago. Everything I said he denied. He left the conversation still in disbelief, as my words were not powerful enough to break down the belief system. Yet it is not the connection to his deceased loved ones that were missing, rather it is his belief, which is attached to emotions of fear, guilt, forgiveness, and even love that holds back the connection.
Listen to the interview, YES, Meditation is a Blue-Collar Thing, too!, here.
It is not my or your ability to connect to past loved ones, aliens, ghosts, spirit or even God that is “woo woo”. Rather, it is our unspoken emotions, beliefs and mindless thoughts.
We are programmed to ignore, stuff and hold on tight to our rigid patterns, making them unseen and unspoken. This action creates unfounded and ludicrous beliefs, the direct definition of “woo”.
I believe in infinite possibilities, which allows me to expand the mind. I use intuition as my thought form, constantly trusting my connection with my own soul. In trusting and knowing myself from the inside out it is this evidence of wisdom, of knowing any truth which stops me from blindly following others with such “woo woo” belief systems.
I will trust my intuition, my connection to all that is, before I would trust any other unfounded fearfully based thought form. I trust my soul and all of our wisdom. I will not blindly follow any other belief just because they have been a cultural, familial or religious belief for eons.
Here are 3 question I ask myself to better know and understand my truth.
- Is this really my belief? Or does it belong to society? To my family? To religion?
- What emotions are attached to this belief and are they really my emotions? Do I really feel this way?
- What is my truth? If this isn’t my belief, what is?
And so it is.
As I was gently reminded of how I keep love and people at an arm length, I decided to dive deep into the subject. This is not the first time I have been told this and I am consciously aware of how reserved I am at times
I can create many excuses for being reserved like being hurt in past relationships; people just don’t understand me, etc. But when I look deep within me I recognize that it is the depth of my own love that stops me from allowing people in.
If I define it even further, it is the depth of my love that even frightens me at times and as I ask myself why would love frighten me, the answer is very clear. If I were to allow my pure conscious love to be exposed it would be very intimidating as I know I carry much light. I have also experienced my intimidation factor with people, they always have a glazed look in their eye. When I am fully exposed with my love it can be too much for people and they shy away and I see the looks on their faces as if to say, “who are you”?
So, for this reason, I shy away from exposing my love, the depth of pure conscious love within me is very vast, strong, powerful and can be overwhelming. When I first began to channel “The Mothers” I experienced the overwhelming sense of pure conscious love. Their love was so strong it overwhelmed every cell in my body and I wondered if this is how people experience my pure love? I also wondered why I resisted receiving such an amazing strength of love, after all, this was the goal, to be pure conscious love.
There is a portion of me who remembers and understands pure love and yearns for it daily. There is also a portion of me who is afraid to embody all of it and most importantly to expose it. Again, I could use all the excuses for this fear based perception like divine timing, something needs to be healed, etc., yet I am fully conscious of fear and how it keeps me separated from my wisdom and truth.
(If you like this, you may like the podcast episode, The Abundant Love Project: The Stones that Blossomed into Love)
When I dive even deeper into the subject I notice the body begins to soften, as if to say, finally I have exposed my truth and I can release this shield of protection. Well, at least one layer of the shield. Love seems to have so many layers…..as with every thought and emotion it can be changed to fit your desires. So, I ask myself what is my desire? Do I desire to stay shielded with my love and the reception of love so that I hold myself back from experiences I desire to have?
As I take a deep breath and release I begin to have an inner dialogue. The remembering thoughts of being hurt come through and the soul reminds the mind that that is only perception and perception can be changed. Logically I understand this, yet the mind does not want to let go as it is very difficult for me to experience hurt or the perception of hurt….then the soul says, do not allow yourself to see hurt as you have in the past. Rather see everything as an experience without right or wrong, love or fear, good or bad.
As I take another deep breath I settle into the knowingness of bringing the intenseness of pure Love to the earth. I recognize this as a purpose and I choose to fulfill my purposes!
As I sat in church at a family funeral I wished I could change the words that I heard coming from the Priest’s mouth.
I’m not here to say the priest was wrong, after all he is simply repeating what he has been taught to say.
I wish I had distracted myself during the sermon so I would not have been reminded of how unworthy I am. I had been taught for many years to believe that I was not worthy, that I was a sinner who is unworthy of God’s love or other people’s love not to mention my own love. During some portion of the ceremony I heard this statement: “Even though we are unworthy to have you in our house God”…..Really?
At that moment I was grossly reminded of why I find myself feeling not worthy of my abilities to see, hear, smell and feel across the veil to the unseen. In that moment I witnessed myself in a totally different light. I became the witness of who I am with the understanding that I used to believe in that statement, in those words, that programming. That I was not worthy of God, even though in the next sentence I heard, we are to be like God. Such controversy, no wonder I have found myself stuck in my belief about who I am or why I am here?
This sort of tactic, creating such duality in the thinking which leads to beliefs about who we are as human beings keeps us in separation of what our soul knows as the truth. This is totally opposite of what I teach which is to know and understand that we are God, we are individuals within the oneness and that we are worthy of the grace, love and bliss of all that is.
It was again heart wrenching for me to sit in that pew and to be so cruelly reminded of the time when I bought into the belief of unworthiness. The mind programming week after week still remains in my cell memory as I witnessed the mind wanting to go back to that time when I viewed myself as unworthy of life, yet my soul stopped the memory. I found myself appalled by the words that drove home the essence of believing in such separation from own soul/spirit.
It has been awhile since my return from Peru and I was gently reminded upon my return that I was still playing at the edge of separation and today, during this church service I was again reminded of how easy it is to play on the edge of separation as the programming remains in cell memory. I thought about how I could stop playing on the edge, stop the belief patterns that hold me back from ascension. I began repeating to myself, no judgment only love. I repeated this mantra over and over.
Being aware when I am on the edge playing with the nonsense of not feeling worthy of pure love is the first, second and third step to overcoming, clearing and creating new beliefs. The fourth step is to believe that I am worthy of pure love/God. The final step is to BE pure love no matter what words are used to remind me of times past. Yet I question what the meaning of being really is? As days pasted from this experience I played with the idea of being – what could this possibly look like. I came to the conclusion that being has everything to do with receiving. I give love away, yet I am not very good at receiving. This is where the exploration begins.
For more information, check out my book, How to Remember Your Power Through Self-Love & Forgiveness.