I am at the point in my life where a job is not fulfilling, creating a business involves a ton of marketing, many hours spent working endlessly towards a perceived idea of success and to accumulate money. I sit in a small 10 X 10 room I call my office, this is where all the magic happens, creative workshops, mastermind thoughts, podcasts and meditations for others.
Yet, today and most days I crave for something more, something that involves deep experiences of growth and evolutionary downloads that will change the face of humanity. It is this yearning that keeps me alive.
Today, like most days are spent trying to talk myself into greatness. Hell, I have post it note after post it notes filled with inspiration, love quotes and motivation, all of which I would rather not read today, yet I read through them looking for the magic pill to take away these deep cravings for more. Today, it dawned on me what my real craving is….to create life with people who desire the same experiences that I do. To create life with deep emotions, deep expansion into the unknown and unseen. Deep conversations that leave me wondering about everything and fill me up at the same time.
I know on a conscious level that I deserve, desire and try to create this everyday….yet the yearning for more never ends. I constantly ask, Why? Why do I yearn for more? Why am I so inquisitive? Why can’t I just be happy? Yet, every cell in my body is screaming for something I just can’t fulfill. I long for such pure conscious love that I ache with the thought of what that would be like, the vision of it sets me on fire and scares the heck out of me at the same time.
Every thought that runs rampant in my mind says you have everything you need and more….yet I ask what about desire. Is it selfish to desire something different? Is it outside the experience of this lifetime to desire everything this world has to offer and more?
Daily I ask, What is it I desire? Who do I desire to be? I see so many people sharing their strategies of how to be successful, how to break the boundaries of their thoughts, their emotions, their beliefs…..I even teach others to do the same. Yet, today I am vulnerable to my own yearnings and desires.
My yearnings are so persistent and strong that sometimes I feel that my desire will swallow me up one day, never to be seen again within my own self. Today seems to be one of those days where the tears stream down my face with no option of stopping. No matter how I try to distract myself, I continue to feel the gentle tug of what else is possible to explore. I also know that these kinds of days generally mean there is a breakthrough of some kind about to happen, yet, these days are hard on my psyche, on my emotions and on my confidence.
I want to create a life of amazing experiences with others, I want to create partnerships with people where competition does not exist. I want to live everyday with so much expansion that when I lay my head down at night I am exhausted in all the accomplishments of the day. I want to have such deep conversations about everything that I run out of questions to ask.
What I yearn for has nothing to do with material objects, they have everything to do with relationships of love…. deep, deep love. I know at some level of this experience today I am tapping into a consciousness that exists within our human race and I know that some of you can relate and have similar yearnings. So, my quest continues, how can we create this amazing life we dream of?
As a wise old soul once told me, we are not islands, we create consciousness together. I am tired of the same old thing, I am tired of competition, I am tired of religion, politics, hate crimes, discrimination, material possession….the list goes on forever. I am tired!
Again, I ask. How can we create a life so full that we have no desires, no yearnings…. just bliss? The answer comes in a form of a vision, simple be a magnet and allow spirit to come to you. This way of being is in the current programming, yet I understand its function and dynamics. My new craving is to be this magnet, to stop thinking and working so hard that I literally stop the flow.
The new form of question is to “Show me” – show me how to be the magnet and to relax within the new way of being.
AUTHOR: Angela Blaha, Author, Mentor, Lover of Evolution.
I assumed we had evolved beyond the ludicrous belief that we cannot connect with source, cannot feel, hear or see beyond the veil and into the perceived “woo woo” of spirit. But, I was wrong as my latest radio interview still held the energy of disbelief in the self and the power of the soul.
I teach about emotions, thought, beliefs and how they relate to intuition. How our thought forms and belief patterns attach to the fear of our emotions and hold us from mental, emotional and spiritual growth. In fact, I teach people to use Intuition as their thought form rather than the mind/ego because the mind is based in the past while intuition is based in present moment.
During my last radio interview I was explaining to a man how his belief would not allow him to connect to a past loved one because he would not be able to hear the message. He was skeptical and said he did not believe I could talk to someone he lost a long time ago. Everything I said he denied. He left the conversation still in disbelief, as my words were not powerful enough to break down the belief system. Yet it is not the connection to his deceased loved ones that were missing, rather it is his belief, which is attached to emotions of fear, guilt, forgiveness, and even love that holds back the connection.
It is not my or your ability to connect to past loved ones, aliens, ghosts, spirit or even God that is “woo woo”. Rather, it is our unspoken emotions, beliefs and mindless thoughts.
We are programmed to ignore, stuff and hold on tight to our rigid patterns, making them unseen and unspoken. This action creates unfounded and ludicrous beliefs, the direct definition of “woo”.
I believe in infinite possibilities, which allows me to expand the mind. I use intuition as my thought form, constantly trusting my connection with my own soul. In trusting and knowing myself from the inside out it is this evidence of wisdom, of knowing any truth which stops me from blindly following others with such “woo woo” belief systems.
I will trust my intuition, my connection to all that is, before I would trust any other unfounded fearfully based thought form. I trust my soul and all of our wisdom. I will not blindly follow any other belief just because they have been a cultural, familial or religious belief for eons.
Here are 3 question I ask myself to better know and understand my truth.
- Is this really my belief? Or does it belong to society? To my family? To religion?
- What emotions are attached to this belief and are they really my emotions? Do I really feel this way?
- What is my truth? If this isn’t my belief, what is?
And so it is.
I have been asking my soul to bring into my consciousness full remembrance of wisdom and Peru certainly delivered!
Peru is one of the most beautiful, natural and magical places on earth. As my journey began, I remembered so many lifetimes where only pure love existed, a type of love that created a feeling of ecstasy and so much joy. A richness and depth of genuine care, I felt I had left this earth and traveled in time to another dimension. A love where only bliss lived, no worries or anxiety. A time where separation did not exist. I was excited to remember love so pure, something I believed for many years only existed in fairytales, dreams or for the pure romantics, yet I sensed it could exist and I found it in Peru in my memory banks of wisdom. This created a comfort in me that I knew was and still is possible in our world today.
As we traveled through the country, every new place, city or stop by the edge of the road was filled with memories. The beginning of the trip allowed for the rush of pure love, where ancient societies cared for each other in ways beyond my current reality of the human expression of care. Ways that seemed magical as in that time and space, separation did not exist. I remembered the intense emotion of love where every cell in my body was filled with passion, again thinking this depth of love only existed in fairy tales or magic; an emotion so romantic, I once believed only existed in some outer galaxy. Yet, I remembered it existed here on earth, it created a sense of such deep peace within me, a depth I had not experienced before.
As we continued our travel, devastation appeared and swept me from the grasp of love into disbelief, overwhelm and hurt. As I witnessed through remembrance, the time and place where separation entered like a plague, dividing and creating chaos. I remembered the first unconscious killing of another human and how I felt so alone, angry and betrayed. This memory left me with such overwhelm as I could not believe or understand why anyone would choose something other than bliss. I felt such deep, deep hurt, I was beyond devastated, I was heartbroken!
From my heartbreak, I dove into separation, understanding it’s every action, every thought process, every emotion that it created within the human. Lifetime after lifetime I came back diving deeper and deeper into how separation creates doubt, worthlessness, hopelessness and destruction. How, with one tiny vibration of it’s energy, our own love can turn into something vile, and we use our thoughts and emotions not only against others, but against ourselves. My quest was to know separation at the depths that I knew love, and this lifetime is remembering it all so I can help and serve humanity as we are in the midst of the shift of our consciousness to return to the depths of pure conscious love.
The lessons or experiences of separation has lead me back to this point in time and space of remembering pure love. This pure conscious love is what Peru has so kindly reminded me to move back to, how to remember the vibration of pure joy, a feeling beyond separation, beyond the devastation of doubt. A state of pure love so full of emotional bliss, that it creates magic everywhere!
How do we bring this feeling of ecstasy into everyday living was my next quest as we spent many days in the tranquility of the jungle, integrating what we experienced within us. I wanted to know how to bring this ecstatic love energy to you. As our fearless leader of our group expressed over and over, we bring this blissful energy of love into everyday living by paying attention, being very present and experiencing how we feel! Pay attention to how you are, the words you use to describe how you are feeling, the words you use to understand your emotions and thoughts. Pay attention to the details, as the details create and grow your reality. Create something magical everyday that reminds you of the love you are, maybe it’s a note you post to your mirror so you see it everyday. Or maybe it’s a kind gesture you do for someone else. Or maybe it’s the way you lean into your partner to say, “I love you” as you send the vibration of unconditional love. Or maybe it’s the way you dance, to free your spirit and allow your inner God or Goddess to come out and play. Maybe you walk in the rain and remember how you used to splash in the mud puddles as a child. Just do something that allows the remembering of your love, your essence!
I know I have spoken on this subject before, but Peru has reminded me of how magical pure love is and it is my quest to move this magic within you, to a new level. We have to bring pure love into our everyday living, we no longer have excuses, as the intent of the shift we are experiencing is creating the new earth and this depth of pure conscious love. We are the new earth, you and I and it is our responsibility to create this kind of magic that we are! Empower yourself and the people in your life to love without conditions and intolerance, be very clear about your essence as this is your purpose. How do we practice pure love? By practicing tolerance, detachment from materialism and being unconditional love. We are human and we will fall away from our essence, yet this is not a reason to be hard on ourselves. Simply and gently remind yourself of your love!
Create romance in every relationship, speak your truth with passion, allow your emotions to be seen. When we are seen, we are no longer lonely!
Over the past few days I have been asking myself what really is lack mentality?
Do I possess lack mentality or beliefs, if so, where and what do I have lack about?
Webster’s online dictionary states that lack means: a state of being without or not having enough of something.
“A state of being”…….ouch!
I always understood lack of something meant wanting or needing something I did not have, but a state of being…..puts an entirely different spin on it. I really had not thought or felt into lack mentality as a state of being.
For me, a state of being means, ‘I am’ whatever I lack. “A state of being” moves into a belief, a dominant or core belief which extends into present day. So, if I lack money, my new definition means that I am a lack of money. Which puts me in a totally different vibrational alignment of what I try to achieve around money. Money is a simple example for a “lack of belief”, as everyone, at one time or another can resonate with the concept.
This means, if I want to change my ability to receive money, I have to change my thoughts, emotions, actions, and I have to change my state of being. For me, this means and entire overhaul of the belief pattern around the entire subject, starting where the belief began.
Now, I understand that money is simply energy, just as I am energy and as energy we exchange all the time. So as energy, I know I have the ability to change belief, thoughts, emotions, actions, etc at will. This is a core belief, so to change this belief around lack of money, should be fairly simple.
As an energy being, I feel into money and how we exchange energy. What does it offer me? It offers an exchange, which providing safety in the form of a house, electricity, my entire fundamental needs are met with this exchange. And I am in full receiving mode of this kind of exchange. As I dig a little deeper I ask what else does it offer? It offers a valuable exchange for services and goods I want and need to purchase, again I am in full receptive mode for these items. At the same time, I create a sense of gratefulness I have what I need to feel safe in this world.
TO BE CONTINUED……
The other day I was told to be more transparent! What the…….
I thought about this for a couple days asking myself what transparency looks like. Does that mean I have to tell everyone my faults, every little horrible thing about who I am? Then I would ask myself who really cares about that? I would answer my own question with, probably no one. After all I don’t care about peoples faults, all I care about is their strengths and how to help them become more strong.
Transparent…I do not even have a working definition for that word. So I looked it up and this is what the on line simple Meriam-Webster dictionary said.
~ able to be seen through
~ easy to notice or understand
~ honest and open: not secretive
Then I asked myself if this was my working definition of the word and I agreed that it was. So I did not come up with a new definition, I used the above one.
Then, I asked if I was transparent? My answer is yes and no!
I am not secretive; I am always honest and open without harm to others. I repeat what I say in many different forms so that what I say is understood and I feel I am easily seen through, since I am honest. Being transparent does not equal privacy and sometimes I believe we have the two words confused. Am I private? Yes! Do I keep peoples information secret? Yes, because I am very ethical! So, if being ethical and private, honoring peoples privacy is not being transparent, then so be it. Divulging others information is not something I am willing to disclose, my family included.
I dove deeper into my feeling about being transparent. I feel that there is a difference between being vulnerable and transparent. Being vulnerable, means that you are open to attack! Why would anyone want to do that, after all, everyone is due their opinion. It does not mean I have to be open to their opinion. If I were to do that, I would give into the rules of someone, giving up my power to be who I am. Being vulnerable would go against every thing I teach.
Being transparent, is not giving up my power to anyone, and I am not open to publically displaying every crazy thought or emotion I have. We all know, that when someone opens themselves up to every dark corner of the mind, there is judgment. Doing this would again, put me in the box of someone else’s rules and giving up of my power.
Because I do not play the same game as someone else, does not mean I am not transparent and I will never be vulnerable. I am, like all of you, human. However, I do play by my own rules, where I practice, no judgment of who I am. If I am practicing true love, the only rule I have is love. To me, love only knows strength and it sees faults as growing wisdom, rather than negatives.
So, be as transparent as you want to and by no means, ever be vulnerable, as being open for attack should never be something to achieve or strive for. Below is what I posted on my facebook page as an attempt to be more transparent – let me know what you think!
I was told the other day to be more transparent! Not sure how to do that or be that, but here it goes.
As most of you know, I remember my star existences. Which means that I call myself a star being as well as a human being. I come to earth when I am called to by God to help and serve in what is deemed to be my truth, this lifetime, my truth and purpose is to activate and help other beings to recognize their own truth and purpose, to help them make sense of their remembering oneness and to help everyone in the “shifting” energy.
I really do not like separating myself by using words that describe or create rules around my being as this promotes separation theory. A theory which has caused much turmoil for the human aspect of who we are, as this theory enjoys the struggle between ego and soul.
We are in the midst of changing energy, many of you know it as “The Shift”, basically what is happening, all of us here on earth are remembering oneness. A way of being that dissolves separation within our thoughts, emotions, patterns and beliefs.
I will be as transparent as I can be without promoting separation between you and I, as everything I do affects you in some way. Just as I am constantly asking you to watch your words and how you describe yourself so not to create more separation within yourself, because it will affect me someway, somehow.
Here is my truth for today – I love each one of you so much that it is indescribable with the words that I can find. Rather than use words, I ask that you feel my love, the love of unity consciousness, which only seeks pure truth. A love so vast and deep, that it may seem overwhelming. Move inward to your energy, this is where you will find my love!
All my love to you!