As a Wellness Coach I am consistently coaching on self-care and self-love. Yet, traditionally self-care and self-love are rarely mentioned as a part of wellness. When you think about wellness, what do you think? Is going to the gym, eating enough vegetables, taking vitamins a part of your wellness picture? I would like to offer more to the picture!
Western Society for years has based it’s view of wellness programs on psychologist Abraham Maslow’s “hierarchy of needs” model. In Maslow’s model our basic needs of food, shelter, water, sleep and feeling safe are among the largest section of our wellness. No doubt these items are top of the list for human survival. But, I ask what about thriving and living in abundance. The above model lives in a sense of lack, stating our basic needs for survival.
At the top of the Maslow’s list is self-actualization, which includes creativity, morality, problem solving, etc. In the middle of the chart is love and belonging. With many of my clients the lack of self-love seems to be one of the most important items and primarily at the root of the majority of their perceived suffering. Many of the problems they come to coaching with revolve around the lack of self-care and self-love.
Many people hold on to old worn out ideas causing fear and deprive them of power over their lives. They come with ideas such as:
- Life happens to me
- I have very little control, if any
- Life is unfair
- If I get a runny nose, I have to go to a doctor
When we live with a sense of lack we live in fear in which many of our basic needs are no longer met. This false sense of lack creates our perceived suffering and our lives seem out of control.
When we live with a sense of self-care and self-love these out of control notions change to:
- I have total control over my choices
- I am responsible for my health and the body can heal itself
- Dealing with my fears allows me to feel good about who I am
- Being mindful allows me to live in the present moment instead of in the past or fear of the future
When we change the “hierarchy of needs” to include self-love and self-care to a part of our basic needs, the whole dynamic of life changes. We begin to notice our purpose in life. The meaning of every “Hello” and every “Goodbye”. Living life with a higher purpose than just going to work, eating and paying bills. We see life as being fun and we enjoy being alive. We set aside time to quiet the mind, to bring a sense of peace to the body, mind and soul.
Create a new model of needs, one which includes taking care of your body, mind and soul as well as your basic survival needs. Isn’t it time to live with confidence, self-care and self-love, instead of fear. Many of your perceived problems may just disappear.
So out with the old and in with the new! Be the change! Love yourself and allow Love to flow to you.
