When I talk about life lessons they seems so burdensome and people look at me weird. Why do we place such anticipation and worth on the fact that this world, earth, is a classroom and we get to learn things about our interactions, this place, and ourselves all the time. Why do some of us fret, worry and just plain freak out when we are amidst a life lesson, myself included. Every action, every thought, every word is a lesson and a huge opportunity to learn and teach.
I see life lessons as an opportunity to expand. By expansion I mean an expansion of who I am. Life lessons are gifts, opportunities to grow physically, psychically, spiritually and emotionally. Even in the roughest portion of a lesson, I still see it as such an expansion of the original me that I almost welcome the hard part.
I know some life lessons can be very painful. Some carry excruciating physical and/or emotional pain. When I get past the pain there is an understanding, a sense of accomplishment, a new sense of knowing that comes with the lesson that no one can ever take from me.
There are many types of life lessons and no one lesson is the same for any two people. We are all individuals and we all have the gift of free will to choose, so every lesson will look differently. Lessons are individualized!
There are some tools that can help us work through the lesson but just know and acknowledge that the outcome of using these tools may look very different for you than it does for me.
Communication is a very common problem I see in my practice. Communication is very expansive because we each communicate in such unique ways. For me, when I am aware of a communication lesson it is an opportunity for me to expand not only in my voice or words, but also in my body language and in my thinking patterns. Communication is a tool that can provoke all kinds of emotions and ultimately in how I love another person. If I am wiling to expand my communication to match theirs, it does not mean that I have to change my vocabulary or create some new way of being. It does mean that I am willing to meet them where they are, expanding them and myself.
For example, my husband’s communication style is very logical, practical and he does not talk very much. Our communication style can be very difficult for me. Maybe a more useful style of communication would be more touch oriented, or just being present by being in the same room, or maybe we don’t need to talk. Any of these styles can be overwhelming for someone who needs to speak. We are totally responsible for our actions, thoughts and words. So if I find myself in a conversation and all I am experiencing is frustration, it is up to me to change my communication.
So I guess what I’m trying to say is this, don’t be afraid to communicate, if yelling isn’t working, try something else. If communication is becoming a barrier in your relationships, then try something new. Change begins with me, not someone else!
