How does one forgive? This seems to be a question I hear over and over.
Do you just say, “OK I forgive you.” Sometimes it is enough to just say the words either to yourself or to someone else. Other times it doesn’t seem to be enough. There still seems to be some sort of emotion, maybe it’s anger, resentment, jealousy, but something hangs on so when I think of the incident or a person’s name, it triggers some emotion or feeling inside. Some emotion or feeling that I have not identified with or simply do not want to feel or identify with, maybe I’m just not ready to identify with it.
So does forgiveness mean that I have to feel every heart wrenching feeling, accept the feeling and then do what with it? Do I just say ok I am setting this feeling of anger go, then it is done? Is my forgiveness truly gone?
I know that these feelings hold me back and they bind me even closer to the incident or the person who I need to forgive. So how do I unbind myself? Every place I read about forgiveness, I am told to simply let go, to find peace within. But really how do you do it – Forgive – let go – find peace?
Here is my process that I follow when forgiveness is in order.
1. Awareness: Aware that there is something holding me to the incident or the person. I identify with the emotion or feeling by asking my soul, “What is it that I am holding on to?”
2. Meditation: If the answer doesn’t come right away I try meditating and ask the universe for a clear and accurate answer.
3. Feeling: Then I sit with it, really allowing the feeling and/or emotion to surface. I am not one who likes to feel discomfort so this part of the process is especially difficult. This may take several attempts depending on if I have old memories to deal with as well as new memories with the incident.
4. Release: After I have allowed myself to fully experience what is holding me there, then and only then do I release the emotion or feeling. I literally say out loud or to myself, “I release this emotion or feeling to the heaven’s or to the earth to be dealt with properly. I am free from being __________ with or about ___________.”
5. Visualize: Then I visualize this feeling or emotion leaving my body and being released. Sometime I will journal about the experience and write about how it felt to release and to be free.
If you need to do this process over again & again to allow yourself to release the emotion or feeling and to completely forgive, Do it.
There is no greater joy than releasing yourself from bondage through forgiveness.
