July 24, 2013 by Angela
Surrender is a scary word. It’s a very powerful word for me, even the thought of the word sends chills down my arms. For me, surrender means to give up control, all control. It raises all sorts of emotions for me, like panic, fear, loss, peace, and even joy. Although it is pretty scary to think about giving in, at the same time there’s a sense of peace of not having to be in charge. To just let go. There’s a real sense of freedom to letting go.
To surrender, to give in, to loose all control, I’m pretty sure I have never really don’t that, ever! How does one completely surrender?
I know that is what I need to do and it’s why I’m laying here on my back with stitches, no lifting, bending or twisting for 3 months. So how do I begin to surrender, what is the first step? And what am I surrendering to?
I begin my journey to surrender by becoming aware, the word surrender is not a common word I use, nor do I hear it used very often. However, one morning during meditation it popped into my head and has remained there for some time now. I work with it for a while, leave it and then return. It seems to be such a huge concept that I cannot deal with it all at once, so I simply leave it and return when the time is right.
Awareness is always the first step in anything I do. I am aware that I need to surrender, but to what am I surrendering? To God, myself, my soul, my life, what? All of the above, probably.
Next, I meditate. I have been meditating on the word. Asking all kinds of questions around the concept. Today I finally received a message. To focus on what I really want‚ really that’s it, that’s all I have to do to surrender? Most likely not, but for today it is what I have to do. So I put my goals, desires and wishes down on paper. Now I wait!
Until further information is received, that’s all I can do. Wait! It’s almost a big a word as surrender. I’m not very patient, so this is hard. But what do I wait for? I wait for the opportunities to reveal themselves. And when the opportunities reveal themselves, then I allow them to take shape. I allow them to present themselves and to actually act on them. When opportunities present themselves, we question whether it’s the right thing to do, or if this is just my ego telling me I should do it. Take the risk, what is there to loose? I can hear many of you saying OMG or cringing at the thought of taking the risk. But really what do you have to loose? Instead think about all that you will gain by surrendering and taking a new risk.
In retrospect, surrender really isn’t that scary of a word. When we put everything into a positive perspective and break it down into workable format, everything can be simplified to fit who we are. Just surrender, hand things over to spirit and take the risk.
