Who am I kidding? Transformation is a lot of work, emotions fly everywhere, so many days when you have no idea is happening, feeling lost, feeling stuck, feeling like giving up!
Fortunately we all go through these times….notice I said fortunately. If we did not go through these periods of change we really would be stuck.
Summer is my time for transformation, every summer I spend time in silence and generally around water. Water seems to help me heal and is so calm and flowing, it knows what to wash away and what to bring to the surface.
This year has been no exception and my transformation has been very disruptive and long. It seems that time has flown by, I realize this statement is a cliché, but really this summer for me has disappeared with what I consider to be very little change.
I have found being in transition to be a normal part of my cycle of life in this human being. I talk about transition almost on a daily basis yet what are we really talking about?
When I am moving through a transition there is a period of feeling stuck, not knowing what that really means-feeling stuck, but it is a feeling of not knowing or understanding. Sometimes it may be based in fear of the unknown, it may also be based in high expectations and not sure if I can meet the demands or even want to.
During this time I reach out to others for help to move through the energy a bit faster but this year it seemed to hang on for what seemed to be forever. My old ways of moving through the energy did not seem to help, almost as if the practices held me in my feeling of “being stuck” even longer than usual. So I have been on a mission to create new practices by trial and error. This letting go of what I now consider old practices has opened up many opportunities to expand further than ever expected.
When the period of “feeling stuck” slowly recedes there is a feeling of new joy, this new sense of joy is renewed through glimpses of fantastic ideas, one here and there. This has always been my signal that the transformation is making a turn and that the new energy will soon find its way to a normal way of being.
My deepest finding through this transformation was that my practices were weak and that creating space for the transition to take place was what really worked. Fighting against the transformation only caused more pain, which created a sense of time moving slowly.
When I open my heart and allowed the defragging to take place, that is when time seemed to fly and then understanding and new knowledge emerged. I associated this time with defragging of a computer. In the past I used to defrag my computer, this defragging allowed time for the system to rearrange, to get rid of things that were no longer needed, to upgrade new systems and to re-categorize new and old information. That is what it is like when a period of transformation takes place and how it works.
My biggest take away from this transforming summer is: when your feeling stuck, allow yourself time, open your heart and allow space for the transformation to happen. Stop fighting against it and accept that change is moving in, after all, we are beings in a continuous state of change.
