Seriously, this again!
I have to admit it has been a struggle for me to get back into any type of routine since my visit to Peru. Although it has been four weeks, I feel like it has been an eternity and wonder what I have been doing since then.
Upon my return, I vowed to carry the amazing high vibration of love, joy and bliss energy I experienced in Peru. I knew at some level of my existence this high vibration was possible, but I had not experienced until my trip.
A few days later I was talking with a client and I noticed I had willing gave my high vibrational love energy away. I thought to myself there it goes, I was confident I could regain the vibration at will.
Disappointingly, since that moment in time I have been basking in the 3-D energy of separation, I have been disconnected with the high vibration. I consider myself to be fairly conscious and I thought to myself, seriously, do I have to do this again? It has taken me a few weeks to sort out what has been happening, but here it is.
My thinking patterns had returned to third dimensional thinking which showed up as “lack of” thinking. I lacked the close connection with the people I so enjoyed in Peru. I found myself missing the energy, the people and the place, all of which kept me in third dimension. I found myself thinking, if only I could live in Peru where the energy of lay lines are so high you can actually see them with your third eye, then I would be happy. I found my emotions crawling into these thoughts and how my feelings took on the thinking. I found myself feeling exhausted and crying constantly, thinking I wasn’t enough to human kind. I had a lack of purpose and I found myself regurgitating the thoughts over and over.
I knew something was wrong and consciously dove back into the separation to understand why. In my last blog I talked about all the past lives where I lived in separation, trying to understand it’s every move. Here I go again, I heard from my soul.
What I learned is this: when I choose to move into separation of who I know I am, it is my thinking patterns that change. And even though I was in the midst of the energy, I knew something was not right, I felt trapped within my own psyche. I knew consciously, at some level, that I was going into the energy of lack, which is exactly what third dimensional/separation/unconscious energy is.
I also learned just how multi-dimensional we really are as human beings as we choose which energy to flow with and which energy is teaching us something. Looking back it was another beautiful experience and another gentle reminder from Peru.
When I move into third dimensional energy it is my thinking patterns that change, falling into the lack paradigm. When I choose to move out of that energy, again my thinking changes. I know I cannot trust my thoughts as they are always related to past memories or experiences and it is present moment time which creates our reality. I tried to move myself into present moment time knowing this would bring me out of the lessons or experience of separation from myself, but the energy would not have it. My experience had not been learned and my soul was not about to allow me to experience joy until I understood and found the wisdom. Even though I knew I was experiencing something, I choose not to look at what I was to experience, instead I choose to be miserable in my own thoughts and emotions.
I have been asking for full consciousness and what this experience taught me, which may be important to you is this: Pay attention to which dimension you are creating in. If you are in a lack paradigm ask yourself, what is this experience about? How can I move through this more rapidly and what do I need to understand, feel or bring remembrance to the surface to move forward? Learn about who you are at a level beyond your current wisdom, dive deep into the experience without judgment, lack of thinking or fear of the unknown.
Much new information has come from my diving deep, backing is all dimensions and moving further into who I am and what is to come. If you are experiencing pain and suffering, please reach out, you can find me at https://angelablaha.com.
Transformation is fun!
Who am I kidding? Transformation is a lot of work, emotions fly everywhere, so many days when you have no idea is happening, feeling lost, feeling stuck, feeling like giving up!
Fortunately we all go through these times….notice I said fortunately. If we did not go through these periods of change we really would be stuck.
Summer is my time for transformation, every summer I spend time in silence and generally around water. Water seems to help me heal and is so calm and flowing, it knows what to wash away and what to bring to the surface.
This year has been no exception and my transformation has been very disruptive and long. It seems that time has flown by, I realize this statement is a cliché, but really this summer for me has disappeared with what I consider to be very little change.
I have found being in transition to be a normal part of my cycle of life in this human being. I talk about transition almost on a daily basis yet what are we really talking about?
When I am moving through a transition there is a period of feeling stuck, not knowing what that really means-feeling stuck, but it is a feeling of not knowing or understanding. Sometimes it may be based in fear of the unknown, it may also be based in high expectations and not sure if I can meet the demands or even want to.
During this time I reach out to others for help to move through the energy a bit faster but this year it seemed to hang on for what seemed to be forever. My old ways of moving through the energy did not seem to help, almost as if the practices held me in my feeling of “being stuck” even longer than usual. So I have been on a mission to create new practices by trial and error. This letting go of what I now consider old practices has opened up many opportunities to expand further than ever expected.
When the period of “feeling stuck” slowly recedes there is a feeling of new joy, this new sense of joy is renewed through glimpses of fantastic ideas, one here and there. This has always been my signal that the transformation is making a turn and that the new energy will soon find its way to a normal way of being.
My deepest finding through this transformation was that my practices were weak and that creating space for the transition to take place was what really worked. Fighting against the transformation only caused more pain, which created a sense of time moving slowly.
When I open my heart and allowed the defragging to take place, that is when time seemed to fly and then understanding and new knowledge emerged. I associated this time with defragging of a computer. In the past I used to defrag my computer, this defragging allowed time for the system to rearrange, to get rid of things that were no longer needed, to upgrade new systems and to re-categorize new and old information. That is what it is like when a period of transformation takes place and how it works.
My biggest take away from this transforming summer is: when your feeling stuck, allow yourself time, open your heart and allow space for the transformation to happen. Stop fighting against it and accept that change is moving in, after all, we are beings in a continuous state of change.
Self Love and Care
I have talked about Self Love and Care before and I cannot express enough just how important it is in your life. I have been gently reminded lately just how important it is to continue to teach about Love, especially self-love!
A message from ArchAngel Metatron channeled through Angela.
All things begin and end with Love. Love heals all wounds, all patterns, and addictions, everything. When you ignore the signs and continue to lack self-love you fall into the trap of karmic patterns and behaviors. Now you have the gift to choose, so why are you not choosing Love?
I know love can be a scary emotion especially when you are used to not having unconditional love for yourself. If you can get past the fear of how love reacts unconditionally to everything you will experience life in a whole new way. The vastness of love is beautiful, yet very misunderstood. Loving yourself is not egotistical, as you may have been taught, instead it is humble.
Mother Teresa said it best: When you are humble nothing will touch you, neither praise nor disgrace, because you know what you are.
Self-love is not praise, it is rather a form of care, grace and joy. You need to change the way you think about self-love if you want to understand what being humble is. Being humble is the greatest of sense of self-love, the greatest gift you have been given. When you do not acknowledge your own love for you, you do not know who you are. Instead you follow the crowd, you do not stand in your own wisdom and truth. When you ignore your own wisdom and truth you create your own pain and suffering. You have a choice, choose love over pain every time.
Love is strong, encouraging, kind; it makes you feel as if you are home among the vastness of the universe. Nothing can penetrate it or break it down. Go within and feel the love your soul has for you, if it is too strong then visit your soul often to get accustomed to the feeling. Do not fear the overwhelming joy that unconditional true love can bring to you; you are very deserving of its beauty.
Namaste!
I realize self-love and care seems like an endless job and very overwhelming. Start with baby steps, meditate in silence for 5 minutes, or take a walk in nature, allowing the mind to settle down and the soul/higher self/heart space to open up.
