Why I bought into the belief of not being worthy

Why I bought into the belief of not being worthy

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As I sat in church at a family funeral I wished I could change the words that I heard coming from the Priest’s mouth.

I’m not here to say the priest was wrong, after all he is simply repeating what he has been taught to say.

I wish I had distracted myself during the sermon so I would not have been reminded of how unworthy I am. I had been taught for many years to believe that I was not worthy, that I was a sinner who is unworthy of God’s love or other people’s love not to mention my own love. During some portion of the ceremony I heard this statement: “Even though we are unworthy to have you in our house God”…..Really?

At that moment I was grossly reminded of why I find myself feeling not worthy of my abilities to see, hear, smell and feel across the veil to the unseen. In that moment I witnessed myself in a totally different light. I became the witness of who I am with the understanding that I used to believe in that statement, in those words, that programming. That I was not worthy of God, even though in the next sentence I heard, we are to be like God. Such controversy, no wonder I have found myself stuck in my belief about who I am or why I am here?

This sort of tactic, creating such duality in the thinking which leads to beliefs about who we are as human beings keeps us in separation of what our soul knows as the truth. This is totally opposite of what I teach which is to know and understand that we are God, we are individuals within the oneness and that we are worthy of the grace, love and bliss of all that is.

It was again heart wrenching for me to sit in that pew and to be so cruelly reminded of the time when I bought into the belief of unworthiness. The mind programming week after week still remains in my cell memory as I witnessed the mind wanting to go back to that time when I viewed myself as unworthy of life, yet my soul stopped the memory. I found myself appalled by the words that drove home the essence of believing in such separation from own soul/spirit.

It has been awhile since my return from Peru and I was gently reminded upon my return that I was still playing at the edge of separation and today, during this church service I was again reminded of how easy it is to play on the edge of separation as the programming remains in cell memory. I thought about how I could stop playing on the edge, stop the belief patterns that hold me back from ascension. I began repeating to myself, no judgment only love. I repeated this mantra over and over.

Being aware when I am on the edge playing with the nonsense of not feeling worthy of pure love is the first, second and third step to overcoming, clearing and creating new beliefs. The fourth step is to believe that I am worthy of pure love/God. The final step is to BE pure love no matter what words are used to remind me of times past. Yet I question what the meaning of being really is? As days pasted from this experience I played with the idea of being – what could this possibly look like. I came to the conclusion that being has everything to do with receiving. I give love away, yet I am not very good at receiving. This is where the exploration begins.

For more information, check out my book, How to Remember Your Power Through Self-Love & Forgiveness.

 

Why I bought into the belief of not being worthy

Seriously, this again!

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I have to admit it has been a struggle for me to get back into any type of routine since my visit to Peru. Although it has been four weeks, I feel like it has been an eternity and wonder what I have been doing since then.

Upon my return, I vowed to carry the amazing high vibration of love, joy and bliss energy I experienced in Peru. I knew at some level of my existence this high vibration was possible, but I had not experienced until my trip.

A few days later I was talking with a client and I noticed I had willing gave my high vibrational love energy away. I thought to myself there it goes, I was confident I could regain the vibration at will.

Disappointingly, since that moment in time I have been basking in the 3-D energy of separation, I have been disconnected with the high vibration. I consider myself to be fairly conscious and I thought to myself, seriously, do I have to do this again?  It has taken me a few weeks to sort out what has been happening, but here it is.

My thinking patterns had returned to third dimensional thinking which showed up as “lack of” thinking. I lacked the close connection with the people I so enjoyed in Peru. I found myself missing the energy, the people and the place, all of which kept me in third dimension.  I found myself thinking, if only I could live in Peru where the energy of lay lines are so high you can actually see them with your third eye, then I would be happy. I found my emotions crawling into these thoughts and how my feelings took on the thinking. I found myself feeling exhausted and crying constantly, thinking I wasn’t enough to human kind. I had a lack of purpose and I found myself regurgitating the thoughts over and over.

I knew something was wrong and consciously dove back into the separation to understand why. In my last blog I talked about all the past lives where I lived in separation, trying to understand it’s every move. Here I go again, I heard from my soul.

What I learned is this: when I choose to move into separation of who I know I am, it is my thinking patterns that change. And even though I was in the midst of the energy, I knew something was not right, I felt trapped within my own psyche. I knew consciously, at some level, that I was going into the energy of lack, which is exactly what third dimensional/separation/unconscious energy is.

I also learned just how multi-dimensional we really are as human beings as we choose which energy to flow with and which energy is teaching us something. Looking back it was another beautiful experience and another gentle reminder from Peru.

When I move into third dimensional energy it is my thinking patterns that change, falling into the lack paradigm. When I choose to move out of that energy, again my thinking changes. I know I cannot trust my thoughts as they are always related to past memories or experiences and it is present moment time which creates our reality. I tried to move myself into present moment time knowing this would bring me out of the lessons or experience of separation from myself, but the energy would not have it. My experience had not been learned and my soul was not about to allow me to experience joy until I understood and found the wisdom. Even though I knew I was experiencing something, I choose not to look at what I was to experience, instead I choose to be miserable in my own thoughts and emotions.

I have been asking for full consciousness and what this experience taught me, which may be important to you is this: Pay attention to which dimension you are creating in. If you are in a lack paradigm ask yourself, what is this experience about? How can I move through this more rapidly and what do I need to understand, feel or bring remembrance to the surface to move forward? Learn about who you are at a level beyond your current wisdom, dive deep into the experience without judgment, lack of thinking or fear of the unknown.

Much new information has come from my diving deep, backing is all dimensions and moving further into who I am and what is to come. If you are experiencing pain and suffering, please reach out, you can find me at https://angelablaha.com.

The Magic of Peru

The Magic of Peru

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Ah Peru…….

I have been asking my soul to bring into my consciousness full remembrance of wisdom and Peru certainly delivered!

Peru is one of the most beautiful, natural and magical places on earth.  As my journey began, I remembered so many lifetimes where only pure love existed, a type of love that created a feeling of ecstasy and so much joy.  A richness and depth of genuine care, I felt I had left this earth and traveled in time to another dimension.  A love where only bliss lived, no worries or anxiety.  A time where separation did not exist.  I was excited to remember love so pure, something I believed for many years only existed in fairytales, dreams or for the pure romantics, yet I sensed it could exist and I found it in Peru in my memory banks of wisdom.  This created a comfort in me that I knew was and still is possible in our world today.

As we traveled through the country, every new place, city or stop by the edge of the road was filled with memories.  The beginning of the trip allowed for the rush of pure love, where ancient societies cared for each other in ways beyond my current reality of the human expression of care.  Ways that seemed magical as in that time and space, separation did not exist.  I remembered the intense emotion of love where every cell in my body was filled with passion, again thinking this depth of love only existed in fairy tales or magic; an emotion so romantic, I once believed only existed in some outer galaxy.   Yet, I remembered it existed here on earth, it created a sense of such deep peace within me, a depth I had not experienced before.

As we continued our travel, devastation appeared and swept me from the grasp of love into disbelief, overwhelm and hurt.  As I witnessed through remembrance, the time and place where separation entered like a plague, dividing and creating chaos.  I remembered the first unconscious killing of another human and how I felt so alone, angry and betrayed.  This memory left me with such overwhelm as I could not believe or understand why anyone would choose something other than bliss.  I felt such deep, deep hurt, I was beyond devastated, I was heartbroken!

From my heartbreak, I dove into separation, understanding it’s every action, every thought process, every emotion that it created within the human.  Lifetime after lifetime I came back diving deeper and deeper into how separation creates doubt, worthlessness, hopelessness and destruction.  How, with one tiny vibration of it’s energy, our own love can turn into something vile, and we use our thoughts and emotions not only against others, but against ourselves.  My quest was to know separation at the depths that I knew love, and this lifetime is remembering it all so I can help and serve humanity as we are in the midst of the shift of our consciousness to return to the depths of pure conscious love.

The lessons or experiences of separation has lead me back to this point in time and space of remembering pure love.  This pure conscious love is what Peru has so kindly reminded me to move back to, how to remember the vibration of pure joy, a feeling beyond separation, beyond the devastation of doubt.  A state of pure love so full of emotional bliss, that it creates magic everywhere!

How do we bring this feeling of ecstasy into everyday living was my next quest as we spent many days in the tranquility of the jungle, integrating what we experienced within us.  I wanted to know how to bring this ecstatic love energy to you.  As our fearless leader of our group expressed over and over, we bring this blissful energy of love into everyday living by paying attention, being very present and experiencing how we feel!  Pay attention to how you are, the words you use to describe how you are feeling, the words you use to understand your emotions and thoughts.  Pay attention to the details, as the details create and grow your reality.  Create something magical everyday that reminds you of the love you are, maybe it’s a note you post to your mirror so you see it everyday.  Or maybe it’s a kind gesture you do for someone else.  Or maybe it’s the way you lean into your partner to say, “I love you” as you send the vibration of unconditional love.  Or maybe it’s the way you dance, to free your spirit and allow your inner God or Goddess to come out and play.  Maybe you walk in the rain and remember how you used to splash in the mud puddles as a child.  Just do something that allows the remembering of your love, your essence!

I know I have spoken on this subject before, but Peru has reminded me of how magical pure love is and it is my quest to move this magic within you, to a new level.  We have to bring pure love into our everyday living, we no longer have excuses, as the intent of the shift we are experiencing is creating the new earth and this depth of pure conscious love.    We are the new earth, you and I and it is our responsibility to create this kind of magic that we are!  Empower yourself and the people in your life to love without conditions and intolerance, be very clear about your essence as this is your purpose.  How do we practice pure love?  By practicing tolerance, detachment from materialism and being unconditional love. We are human and we will fall away from our essence, yet this is not a reason to be hard on ourselves.  Simply and gently remind yourself of your love!

Create romance in every relationship, speak your truth with passion, allow your emotions to be seen.  When we are seen, we are no longer lonely!

Angela Blaha

What is lack mentality?  continued

What is lack mentality? continued

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Let’s continue our discussion of Lack Mentality. When I dig even deeper, I notice a sort of diversion happening within me, almost like I want to back up and not move forward. I ask what else can money offer? I hear luxury, however, I do not see luxury, instead I see blank space. I wonder what it is that I need to release or expand into, to see luxury. I ask myself, what will it take to receive luxury – I hear a wide awakening!

Ummm…..what?

I consider myself a fairly wide-open person! I ask, what is a wide awakening? I hear, a complete revamp of the system, a break down of beliefs. You have old thoughts and beliefs that you are not worthy of luxury. Now, this annoys me, yet I know it is true. I wanted to believe those old beliefs were released and taken care of years ago.

I ask, what do I need to do to release the remaining beliefs. I hear, go within! The usual comment!

So, I go within and I notice and see the old belief stemming from childhood where we were very poor and the belief said, “we were not worthy of luxury”.

I turn further inward and say I am not that young person anymore, so my belief should not remain in that state of being. I am very capable of manifesting everything and I am older now. If I want enough money to have a luxurious life, then I shall have it. I felt like I was demanding the belief to release me from its ugly claw.

The acknowledgment of knowing this belief was created when I was a little girl was enough to break down the belief. Sometimes we need a complete retraining of the mind, so I have created an affirmation to match the new belief and will state it until the mind does not know anything except the new belief.

Most lack beliefs were created when we were young and it is time release your lack beliefs to the time and space it occurred in. You are now in a different time and space and you should be creating new beliefs as you progress through time and space.

The further I dove into the belief the easier it was to dispel the belief and any power it held over me. I could understand that the lack of money/luxury was not my belief. It was a belief my parents had and I released that belief to that time and space, as I no longer have that belief. Beliefs are easy to change; you simply have to have the courage to dive into them and then to change them to match your current situation.

What is lack mentality?  continued

What is lack mentality?

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Over the past few days I have been asking myself what really is lack mentality?

Do I possess lack mentality or beliefs, if so, where and what do I have lack about?

Webster’s online dictionary states that lack means: a state of being without or not having enough of something.

“A state of being”…….ouch!

I always understood lack of something meant wanting or needing something I did not have, but a state of being…..puts an entirely different spin on it. I really had not thought or felt into lack mentality as a state of being.

For me, a state of being means, ‘I am’ whatever I lack. “A state of being” moves into a belief, a dominant or core belief which extends into present day. So, if I lack money, my new definition means that I am a lack of money. Which puts me in a totally different vibrational alignment of what I try to achieve around money. Money is a simple example for a “lack of belief”, as everyone, at one time or another can resonate with the concept.

This means, if I want to change my ability to receive money, I have to change my thoughts, emotions, actions, and I have to change my state of being. For me, this means and entire overhaul of the belief pattern around the entire subject, starting where the belief began.

Now, I understand that money is simply energy, just as I am energy and as energy we exchange all the time. So as energy, I know I have the ability to change belief, thoughts, emotions, actions, etc at will. This is a core belief, so to change this belief around lack of money, should be fairly simple.

As an energy being, I feel into money and how we exchange energy. What does it offer me? It offers an exchange, which providing safety in the form of a house, electricity, my entire fundamental needs are met with this exchange. And I am in full receiving mode of this kind of exchange. As I dig a little deeper I ask what else does it offer? It offers a valuable exchange for services and goods I want and need to purchase, again I am in full receptive mode for these items. At the same time, I create a sense of gratefulness I have what I need to feel safe in this world.

TO BE CONTINUED……